Saturday, September 3, 2011

A Parenting PSA To Myself.

I'm spending the weekend with my extended family. My nephew is six months younger than Malone. My brother in law and sister in law have their own parenting style. It is similar in a lot of ways, but also different.

I care a lot for my brother in law and sister in law, and love my nephew to pieces. It is hard to see them go through some of the same challenges we went through with Malone six month ago. After spending some time reflecting, I realized I've been offering unwanted/asked for advice disguised under the "this is what worked for us" category.

I have always been a "know it all". When I'm speaking with someone and a subject comes up I know something (ANYTHING!) about, I feel an urgent overwhelming desire to share my knowledge with that person. Even if they don't care or didn't ask for my advice. It is an extremely difficult desire for me to reign in.

Unfortunately, this often makes me come across as arrogant. It also makes me seem unlikeable. But the thing is, is that I really am trying to come from a place of love. Really. I am. It just gets lost in translation.

The thing about kids is that they are all different- beautiful, unique, and no two (even twins) are the same. Therefore, a parenting style/advice/tip/whatever that might work for me, might not work for them. After all, my kid is different from theirs.

Lesson learned.


  1. Don't be so hard on yourself. It is natural to want to help!

  2. I have the same trouble. I had to write a letter of promise to my friend who's adopting a little girl the same age as my younger son and number one was not to give advice unless she asked. First thing I tried to do when I talked to her? Advise her on what car seat to buy! Ack! It's even harder about parenting styles and tips and all that when you see someone with the same struggles. I will keep reminding myself of this, too. I hope you had a great weekend!

  3. My own kids are so different that the same advice doesn't even work for them- that has helped me to keep my mouth shut. Unless someone asks. ;)