Thursday, September 22, 2011

The grass is greeners.

At this time last year I started working on a plan to leave my stay at home mom days and enter the workforce full time. I went back to work on my own terms and I knew it was the right decision for ME- it was 100% selfish. It wasn't about the extra money, although it is nice. It was about carving out a space in my day that wasn't about diapers, naps, or child development.

My one year anniversary of returning back to work is coming up. I believe in the vision of my company, I am satisfied in my job duties and the work is rewarding and fulfilling.


I am uneasy. I am uncomfortable. I am unsettled.

I know I'm not the only mama who has gone back to work out there that feels this way.

Malone is thriving at daycare and I know it is the right place for him. He comes home happy and excited to share his day with us.

We've got the two working parents thing down pretty well. We each know our strengths and use them in the day to day balance of it all. There is a great rhythm to our day.

I'm having a touch of the grass is greeners. I ache for more time with Malone. Will I look back on this season with regret? I'm not sure.

I am conflicted.

And I've decided that it is okay to feel that way.

1 comment:

  1. Great post and so true to heart. So rarely is there never Grass is Greener feelings for parents with regards to work, home, parenting time. As you said, it's about doing the best with what you know at any moment in time. I know i felt dreadfully bad that i had to go back to work at three months old, and yet i'm eternally grateful it's only part time-- even if i have a job where i really have to be in the game, by email at least, monday thru friday- so its really not just part time. I'll never feel ok with that decision, but i had no other choice and so it was. So we just live with the facts as they are, but hopefully not beat ourselves up over any regrets, while moving away from any conflicts in the future, where possible.